Mom Bum in All It’s Glory
What is it?
Mom Bum is that terrible thing when the waistband on a pant (typically a lightweight washed out denim), is pulled up to the point that the butt and hips are accentuated leaving an abhorrent taste in everyone’s mouth and a quizzical look on their faces. This “bag of butt” look is found on soccer sidelines, bowling alleys, and 80’s throwback parties. But, whatever the event know that Mom Bum is a serious crime that has penalties including but not limited to embarassed friends and family walking ahead of you in public, teens instagramming your rear and tagging your ass with the name “bertha” or “Moby Dick” without your knowledge, or co-workers putting your name in for a complete makeover from some tragic “disaster to diamonds” reality show. But in order to avoid the dreaded Mom Bum, you first must know what causes it and how to avoid it, so here goes…
What causes it
The real source of the problem starts with the misunderstanding of the location of where your waist is. If you’ve taken a sewing class at some point, you’ll know that the waist is at the thinnest part of your torso generally located at the belly-button, this is key. In the past people wore pants that sat high up on the waist (around the belly button). Today… unless you’re wearing supremely high-fashion Ready-to-wear pants that are purposefully high-waisted (which isn’t in at the moment anyhow), then you’ll see that denim and dress pants are cut lower in the waist. Mom Bum occurs when mid-rise pants are pulled up to the waist and cinched up over the love handles creating a long butt effect. The waist is slim and flattering until you look one decimeter lower and see a potentially gargantuan camel-toe in the front and one heck of a Mom Bum in the back!
How to avoid it
Listen to your kids… when they say to pull your pants down, do so. With dignity of course but seriously never wear pants up around your waist. It hasn’t been flattering for a quarter of a century and it’s not now.
I’m certainly not suggesting wearing your pants down on your hips hanging below your butt, but a mid-rise brand is right on the money.
J Brand – You definitely have to go up a size but the Maria cut is labelled as a high=rise denim but if you’re used to Mom-Bum denim… then this is a great introductory jean to a slimmer looking more updated you.
NYDJ – This is a brand that made me laugh when I read about them, NYDJ stands for “Not Your Daughter’s Jeans” and they specialize in taking you from lazy denim to slimming and flattering jeans. Their trouser cut is my favorite.
Seven Jeans – One of the best and brightest denim lines to hit retail shelves. I personally think there are a few areas that they can improve on including the “stretch-out” facto, but overall Seven Jeans are definitely worth the price and have a high quality denim.
Paige Denim – Designed by the Fit Model used to create most of the Seven Jeans you love (or should), Paige Denim are AMAZING when it comes to eliminating Mom Bum and are a premium denim that are everything you could want in a jean from fit to longevity.
With all this info it’s time to grab a girlfriend, a handful of hundreds and head down to your local retailer and buy some butt enhancing jeans instead of the sack that simply hoists your cheeks halfway up your back that you may be wearing now. Good Luck!
P.S. I would love some before and after shots. I’ll be discreet, don’t worry.