Why Why Why do all guys wear the same pair of shorts in that same khaki material and color? Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Go into a mall right now, and likely the first guy you see in shorts will be wearing these khaki disasters.
Gap really wasn’t kidding when they said everyone in khakis, they certainly didn’t mean shorts though… AND THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO!
I know men are repressed in a fashion capacity and other men jeer when guys put on shorts that are shorter than knee length, but that is NO reason to conform and don a pair of the same lame trunks everyone is wearing.
New flash! The standards of what men can wear starts with your ability to set the trend of something else (and at this point, wearing anything else would be a good start).
Here are some basic general tips on how to wear shorts properly and what to avoid:
So what is a good material?
Since khaki is out, try for other fabrics such as light weight cotton (in a different color other than khaki), seersucker, linen, lightweight wool, net (See Dolce and Gabbana), corduroy, a lightweight tartan, hemp, raw silk, or gabardine. Nearly any material makes for a good short. Unless it is thicker than denim. (let’s face it, if you are wearing a tweed shorts, it’s probably too hot for shorts. Or you are wearing them because you are super trendy in which case this article is not directed at you anyway)
They should be clean.
In the end it doesn”t matter if they are made of hay you still want to keep your shorts clean.
Make sure your shorts are not too tight.
Baby kittens are sexier than leg chub puffing out around the seam of a short around a thigh. If your legs look like ground turkey trying to burst out of sausage casing; they are probably too tight.
Avoid people singing the “You wear short shorts” song wherever you go.
Here is a good rule of thumb: Do not wear shorts where there is a possibility that one or both of your testicles could fall out. It’s distracting and unnecessary.
Don’t wear athletic shorts when you are going out.
Athletic shorts, like all other athletic wear should be worn in a gym. To avoid this calamity remember this, every time I see you in a restaurant with gym shorts… I’ll kill you.
Lastly, please stop wearing those board short things that way go past your knees.
They look ridiculous unless of course you are on a skate, banana, surf, or otherwise board and you are the age of 14.
I hope this little fashion blog on what to avoid when shopping for shorts helped, send me pics of you looking great in your shorts and I’ll add it to my blog.