Monday’s Suck, But Here’s Something That Helped Me Through It
Getting out of bed… making the coffee, sorting emails, hearing your bosses voice, the annoying faces of coworkers, their attempt at water cooler chit-chat… “how was your weekend?,” “What did you do?,” “Oh, was it fun?” Then you have to reciprocate the meaningless chatter. IT IS THRILLING.
So yeah… Monday’s suck. But don’t turn to drinking to distract yourself. Simply put on a smile like the one I have in that pic, slow blink at them and say, “Susan, I will catch up with you a little later but Monday’s are hell for me… and you know that… cause we do this every week… so…” Then gesture to her like you’re shooing a fruit fly away from the banana you opted to eat this morning in place of breakfast cause you were running late. Sit down at your computer as your stomach grumbles in hunger and plug your noise cancelling in-ear headphones in as hard as humanly possible before you burst your eardrums and work, work, f*cking werk.
Then after your third cup of coffee, head over to Susan’s desk and gab for a bit now that you’re in better spirits. or just caffeinated… whatever, that’s the same thing and listen to how her daughter is pregnant with Tom and how disappointed she is. Nod like you care. Eye contact is everything here.
Also, at about 10:00 you remember you told your boss you have a standing Reiki appointment every Monday at 4:00 so you have to leave a little early but you’ll make up for it by working to 12:15 every lunch hour from Tuesday to Friday. This also negates you going for “lunch with the guys/girls” where you have to hear about super personal drama that super doesn’t concern you from Susan’s “super” secretary Bruce. But the whole “Reiki thing” is a lie just to leave early on Monday’s but people keep coming up to you asking about Reiki for their pets and you want to murder yourself with the closest object. That tiara hanging off Karen’s desk from her bachelorette party 3 years ago. Too stabby. The stapler on Rick’s desk. Too blunt and knowing goddamn Rick it’s probably out of staples. Ah the window. Just jump.
Or better yet…
Quit complaining and get a job you like.
Like I did.