If you are a loyal follower of my blog you’ll know that I am anal about certain things being done properly. Whether it’s removing the tailor tacks on your suit jacket pleats, undoing the stitching that closes your dress or jacket pockets or simply completing your outfit with the perfect scarf. All these things will help you look awesome and if left undone… piss me off 😉
The conductor of the “Piss me off” caravan is not a person but a condition. I’m going to refer to it as “Protective Adhesive Plastic Apparatus Covering Obsession Compulsive Kink” AKA: P.A.P.A.C.O.C.K. People with PAPACOCK tend to leave their plastic wrapped handbags, belts, sofa’s, sun glasses, cellphones, shoes, iPads, jewelry, strollers, televisions and just about anything else that comes from the manufacturer in plastic, still in it’s coating. So here are the top five reasons you should always remove your plastic wrap from any, and every device you own.
1. People Will Think You’re A Hoarder
There is no time like the present to start ripping that plastic wrap off your treasured items, and if reason number one isn’t strong enough motivation to rid yourself of the sticky residue leaving adhesive then stop reading now. People with bits of plastic hanging off the metal embellishments of their belongings clearly live in a nest of boxes and newspaper in place of a home because… not fully unpacking an item is like not fully settling into a proper home. Therefore… Hoarder.
2. It Gets Dirty Anyway
When it starts to, and it will, peel away slowly; you’ll leave rings of dirt and grime for every painstaking centimeter that gets shucked from your prized item. What’s more is you can’t clean it unless the plastic wrap is completely off so basically, it will never get cleaned. Also as soon as the plastic gets scratched it actually appears as though the hardware or screen is scratched anyway… #Fail
3. You Lost All Credibility
As if being a hoarder wasn’t bad enough, but now all that effort you put into making your belongings shine like new (which coincidentally has left them looking like raggedy Anne during the Great Depression,) has only left you looking crazed and a bit too enthused. And why is it that people with plastic wrap have the best stories like “half eaten corn dogs… just lying around” and “that man you saw eating chap stick…” wow. Anyway the rest of the world doesn’t take you seriously.
4. You Can’t Fully Use It
This is especially true with a cell phone or some other electronic device with a screen… you are hindered by the glare or logo of the brand because of the plastic wrapped screen. Sunglasses kill me! I understand prescription glasses because you can’t see anyway but the sun glasses thing really gets me. When people buy Gucci sun glasses with the plastic coating on top that has the GG monogram on it (not to be confused with the glasses that have the GG etched into the glass) and they refuse to tear it off so people know which brand it is. We can see the frames douche-bag! Thanks for coming out though. Who sacrifices vision for plastic wrapped lenses?
5. Your Accessory Looks Fake
Plastic wrap is typically on all products when they are shipped but high end stores remove them (because they look like garbage (so why do people keep them on their products??? Anyway)) but occasionally a shopper may want a “New One” from the back and many times the back-stock pieces still have the plastic wrap on to keep the hardware looking mirror smooth and the leather blemish free. Don’t mistake this as a useful way of keeping your accessories shiny and scratch proof forever! It’s not! Remove the plastic as soon as you are going to wear it. Or sooner!
Am I anal beyond belief? Let me answer your question with another question… Why aren’t you?
Tear that shit off god dammit! or risk looking like a hermit who buys fake bags.