How does my butt look in these sweats?
Ok… so, I have a confession that most fashionista’s would never make. I like to sweat!
There, I said it, the secret is out. I like the rush of a good run or a killer spin class. I like to lift weights with the big boys and love it when I can lift more than some of the big boys. I am what some would call a gym bunny. It helps me deal with stress and feel strong but the best part about being a gym bunny is how good your butt looks in those skinny jeans at the end of all your hard work.
I am not a skinny girl, that is not the goal of my workouts. The point is to create a sexy shape. I often say that I do not have curves, I have detours, and I am just fine with that. What I am not fine with, is the horrible fashion crimes I witness every day when I go for my workout or evening jog. Let me share some tips with all of you so you do not commit these heinous fashion crimes while you are working on your own sexy shape.
First off ladies if you are lucky enough to be blessed with a bountiful bosom, please strap it in. I too have been gifted with large breasts but trust me, you do not need to have them bouncing around threatening to give you a black eye on the treadmill. But they will look fabulous is that silk blouse after all those chest presses. Date night is the perfect time to let the girls come out and play, not at the gym and especially not while running. You also don’t have to completely cover up that fabulous body you are working on in big baggy clothes. In the gym, as on the street, fit is everything. If your workout gear fits you well, it will perform and look great on you. Therefore, you will be automatically stylish. A fun bright colour also never hurts and it will improve your mood on those days that you are lacking in the motivation department.
Boys may like to see our sexy curves in tight Lululemon pants and body hugging spandex, but please, for the love of all that is holy, no one needs to see your moose-knuckle (for anyone who doesn’t know, this is the men’s version of a camel toe.) In fact both sexes should be aware of what their nether region looks like in their workout gear. Because like it or not, if your workout gear is too tight you will have everyone staring at your crotch while you’re doing chin ups. If you are wearing this look on purpose (so people stare at your crotch,) you need more than fashion help. Please proceed to a therapist. Also please no boxers and undershirts. You still need to wear clothes, you are in public after all.
Now that we have all private parts covered, lets talk about how to accessorize. Don’t! First of all, no girl is impressed with your gold chains and signet rings, even if you are getting your GTL on (Gym Tan Laundry.) And if you are wearing them you probably are. We definitely won’t be impressed when your ring gets caught on the weights and rips off a finger. But do look for a band imprint on the ring finger before you hit on that hottie across the weight room. Hitting on someone who is taken is never smooth, especially when their significant other is there with them. Awkward!!! Also earrings jangling while you’re on the elliptical is distracting to you and to the person next to you, so just keep them in your locker. You’ll be glad you did.
Another thing to leave in the locker room is the mascara and lipstick. Ladies remove your makeup pre workout. You may want to look hot, but the hotter you get the more it’ll begin to melt; and the last time I checked, guys weren’t lined up to hit on the wicked witch of the west. Besides you look ridiculous all made up trying not to break a sweat when really, that’s what you should be there to do. Your run will give you that natural sexy glow and your skin will thank you for the detox and be glowing the next day if you simply pack some face wash in your gym bag along with your runners.
I hope this will help you dress appropriately and feel fabulous while you are working on looking fabulous. Happy workout!