Vertical lines are said to make you look skinnier… Does that mean you shouldn’t wear horizontal lines?
Languishing level lines, parallel perils, floundering figuration’s. Horizontal lines hide behind many names but one truth remains so read the article dumdum
If you’re a wider guy or gal, then wearing horizontal stripes or lines can be tricky… BUT with the right pieces, you can pull them off and make them work for you. When someone mentions horizontal stripes, or hell, even when you Google it, the first results are the many debates whether or not they make you look fat. Well I’m here to tell you that for the record, stripes do not make you look fat… unless they are thick stripes… then try to avoid at all costs.
But aside from avoiding looking obese and concerning ourselves with stripes… let’s assume for a moment that you have an affinity for level cut clothing including but not limited to, color blocking, grid based Mondrian inspirations, anything by Jean Paul Gaultier, or the ever reappearing nautical inspiration that slams the runways quadrennially like clockwork. You then have the disease I’m going to make up as: “linear accumbent anxiety” AKA Horizontal line phobia.
To get over this and style your ridiculous self… here is a simple guide to wearing horizontal lines or similarly recumbent stripes.
- Never wear thick repetitive flat stripes. You’ll end up looking fat.
- Always go one size up. Wearing left to right straight lines is one thing… wearing the style skin-tight is quite another.
- Black and white is great… BUT navy and white, black and maroon, navy and black and any other non-antagonistic color arrangement will appear less harsh to each individual color and far more stylish.
- Make it a theme. Don’t just wear a horizon-style sliced sweater… add a coat with leather on top and wool on the bottom and roll up your jeans to have it consistent throughout the entire look.
- Pair the look with a stacked creeper to really set it off.
- Remember… No wide horizontal stripes… EVER! EVER!!! GOD!!!!
When Marc Jacobs decided that stripes were in for Fall 2014… he didn’t stutter. So here I am… wearing piece over piece over piece of lengthwise sliced clothes.
BTW… I used the word horizontal originally 13 times… then I edited it down and now… I only have it crammed it in there 5 times. curiously, other words for horizontal are limited… I think we should all get together and make up new words like, “horizagonal,” “leveline” and “layingectional.” Thoughts?
What I’m Wearing
Jacket by Marc by Marc Jacobs
Sweater by Marc by Marc Jacobs
Jeans by Theory
Boots by Ferragamo
Sunglasses by Prada
Gloves by Prada
Images by Matthew St. James